Just meanderings

For some reason today I feel a little depressed. Not the bone crushing, suffocating depression I used to have (thank you medication) but just a little and contemplative. The universe has sent messages for me today and the topic of suicide keeps cropping up in my mind. Thankfully not my heart…yet but who knows the future. I’m not saying I’m getting channelled messages from out in the ether to kill myself…no, no! Just ideas and thoughts floating around, considerations if you like.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t like the human race! I don’t really like being part of it. That doesn’t mean I don’t love, or want to leave my loved ones; friends and family. I’m just stating a fact – that I don’t much like human beings. I think that as a whole we are a greedy, thoughtless lot. Yep, me included. Of course we have large brains and you’d think by now we’d have learnt how to use them for the common good of all but sadly no.

Quite often I wish Mother Nature to cause us all to become extinct. It’s not so unreasonable or far-fetched is it? I mean other life forms become extinct, we are animals just the same as the sabre tooth tiger and the dodo, so why not us too? Don’t you think this world would be better off? No more wars, no more starving mud-encrusted refugees, no more pollution, no more poverty, no more sexual abuse, no more violence, no more…no more!

Yes, there are enlightened human beings and thank the Universe for them but we have to be extremely naive to imagine that every single human being is going to become aware and enlightened. The human race is fighting a losing battle, at least that’s my sad opinion. But I bet there will be folks who say…’but where is your hope?’ Good question! I do have hope but not really for us humans – it’s incredible how sad the news makes me. We perpetrate our own demise, in small ways and in big; maybe not for us alive today but for future generations.  There comes a time when one has to bail out of a sinking ship.

Sometimes I long for death – my passing on from the world of the material into the world of spirit. But there is something in me that keeps me hanging on (wasn’t that a song?). Why? Not because of human beings that’s for sure but for the joy I receive unconditionally from Mother Nature and from the universe. I derive more pleasure from watching a little bird sing on a branch than from an orchestra. Actually, that’s not quite true because sometimes, just sometimes human music can touch the soul and it makes being human worthwhile.

My spirit is having an experience while in this frail mortal body – I only hope it is worth it.


3 thoughts on “Just meanderings

  1. In many earth traditions–from various locations around the world, not just in Europe–after being stripped of their spiritual culture, the people concealed symbols of their culture within the new intolerant conquering faith. Newer allegories hidden in religious symbols, in music, dance, hymns, folk tales & sayings, and even in food. No matter how bad things get, even beyond typical life struggle, I try to draw some strength from this. It’s almost like a centuries old cat and mouse game that I didn’t ask for, but I have to play out because there’s no other option available. One time recently, I overheard an older man who I have some admiration for, dispensing some advice on taking on any important endeavor. He said: “Never quit. Never, NEVER quit.”

  2. I think I know what you are talking about. I look around, and I am dismayed by the direction humanity seems to have chosen. We are capable of such wonderful things! Why are we focused on such selfish, physical world pursuits? Why are we, as a species, wasting our gifts?

    But then I remember that some of us have a different focus, a different outlook. We look more towards love and towards the way each of us is connected, rather than towards self-preservation and the differences between us. I wonder if perhaps humanity’s evolutionary process is splitting, with half of us focusing on accumulating wealth and status in the material world, and the rest of us focusing less and less on the physical world pleasures, and more and more on the fulfilling connections that a powerful spiritual practice brings.

    We are not alone, those of us who are dismayed by our outer world. Even if our individual paths are focused on the solitary interactions of Mystery, and thus are mostly experiential in nature, we are not alone. We walk side by side, celebrating every part of this gift of life and of living.


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