Well, over this bank holiday weekend I’ve come to a few decisions about the direction of my life. One of which is my therapy. Now, I really do advocate therapy and actually I think everyone should spend some time in therapy in their lives. It’s not just for the mentally pathological! I’ve been in therapy for at least 3 years on a consistent basis and I have to say, with honesty, that it has been beneficial in a lot of ways. But of course therapy is only as good as you make it and it requires the person putting the work in.
However, as we all know there are many different kinds of therapeutic avenues, and the one I’ve been in is group therapy specifically for people with personality disorders. This in itself has been fine but I’ve always had difficulty with its unbalanced approach. You see it is most definitely not holistic and focuses a lot on the negative aspects of one’s life and problems. to begin with I think this is necessary – one has to kind of go back to the playground and allow the hurt inner child to rant and rave in a supported atmosphere. I’ve been there and done this now and this kind of therapy no longer serves its purpose for me.
Another problem I had was its lack of balance and its linear approach. As my spirituality plays such a large and important part of my life I need something that is going to embrace that too, rather than me feeling like I cannot talk about it, or worse it being dismissed. It’s become very hard for me to talk about my life and my feelings and leave my spirituality out of it. My world view is so different from most of my fellow therapees (I’m not sure this is a word but it seems a good enough one LOL).
So, with all this in mind I finally have begun my search for a therapist that will have a more holistic and spiritual approach and I think I’ve found one. I’m just waiting to hear back from her actually. I’m excited but obviously nervous notwithstanding that if I do see this person she is based in London, but having said that I feel I can work through the anxiety and do it anyway.
I don’t feel badly about the possibility of me leaving the therapeutic unit I’m in – it has served its purpose for me, and I think the things that have recently happened in my life have just served to clarify what I knew already – that it was time to move on. I can remember sharing these thoughts with a friend not so long ago and he said to me ‘when it’s time you will know!’ I really think that time has come. However, before I do anything official I’m going to be speaking with my GP first.