I love today’s card, it’s so sweet, especially as I do love foxes and raccoons. The card is named Heal the Ouch and on the surface it looks cute and quite sweet but this card has a powerful message. It’s about forgiveness, which is something many of us find hard to do, especially forgiving ourselves. I have to say I struggle with forgiving myself so this is a wonderful card to receive considering the difficult time I went through last week and the feelings it brought up in me. Here’s what the book says about it:
Forgiveness is the healer of the soul. This is a time for great soothing of the heart, body, soul and mind, as this card indicates that healing will be prevalent in your life now. If you are drawn to study the healing arts, you’ll be successful in developing your natural capacity to restore others to wellness. however, the message may be that you’re being called to change your behaviours in order to heal the earth. Perhaps you’ll switch to a cruelty-free diet, eating less meat; or perhaps you’ll pay more attention to how much water or electricity you use. You’re asked to be conscious of your footprint on the sacred earth and all life and to commit to the healing path. The ‘Heal the ouch’ card may also be an indicator of old wounds and broken bonds being mended. Reconciliations are possible now. Let bygones be bygones.
It’s really this thing about forgiveness that caught my attention – namely forgiveness for ourselves, which many find very difficult to do. We have all made really stupid mistakes in our lives that have damaged other people – I know I certainly have! We’ve done wrong! No two ways about it! The first step on self forgiveness is owning up to what we’ve done and taking responsibility for it. Trying to make amends with the person we’ve hurt. Sometimes talking about the mistake or wrong-doing in a safe and trusting environment helps us to see things clearly. quite often we have fantasies in our heads about how others perceive us but when you talk about things you often realise that other people are very supportive of you. Of course, the main person to talk with is the one you harmed. It takes honesty, love and compassion and that’s not always easy especially when the hurt runs deep. So this stage may take some time but don’t give up on it. As we are gentle and compassionate with others we realise that we must be like this with ourselves too. After all, if we are truly remorseful then we’ll be feeling a lot of shame and guilt too.
So how do we actually show forgiveness to ourselves? Well really the same way we show it to others – through kindness, understanding, compassion and love. I’m always reminded here about how the Great Prophet Jesus behaved towards Mary Magdalene and other ‘low lives’ whom other people shunned for being black than black. It does not matter if you are a Christian or not to take an example from this man. Of course there are many examples too through life but he always seems to stick in my mind – probably because I was once a Christian.
Another means of self-forgiveness is not over thinking – not churning scenarios around in our brains constantly. This never brings clarification, only more confusion and you end up in a veritable mind fog. Practicing mindfulness each day helps with curbing the over-analysing gremlin. Be honest with yourself (although it really hurts) but realise this…you are not who you were then in the past…you are who you are NOW, in the present. you made an awful mistake and you fucked up badly but that was then and it’s not who you are now, nor will it be you in the future. If the person you wronged has had the good grace and love to forgive you then you need to forgive yourself too – otherwise their forgiveness really means nothing doesn’t it.