I’m feeling discomforted and uneasy because I’m second guessing myself again. Might not seem a big thing really but to me it is because I cannot stop thinking about it.
In the Shamanism course I’m taking we are told to use Tobacco as an offering to the Nature Spirits because it is sacred. Yes, of course it’s sacred but the focus of this course is quite Native American. While this is fine and I respect the Native American ways very much, it is not my cultural tradition which is Celtic. I feel very strongly about this, so I don’t feel right using Tobacco as an offering. I am drawn to using the Three Sacred Herbs of the Druids – Meadowsweet, Mint and Vervain.
Is this right or wrong? Should I be using Tobacco instead? If my instructor knew I was using something else I don’t think she’d be very happy. But I’ve also learnt that another name for Shamanism is ‘The Way of the Heart’, meaning it encourages one to follow ones inner self-expression and heart. My heart is telling me to use something else other than Tobacco but I’m struggling with myself to know what to do. I’m not confident in myself and my gut instinct and this is really bothering me.
Celtic Shamans of old would not have Tobacco, so they would have used sacred plants available to them. Culturally specific! To the Druids, although all plants were sacred to them, Meadowsweet, Mint and Vervain held a special place. I feel more comfortable following this but why do I feel as though I’m doing something wrong?
On a more mundane level I’m going in for my gall bladder operation next Monday and I have to be honest and say I’m feeling a little apprehensive about it. I suppose it’s the thought of going into hospital even for just one day and being anaesthetised. I’m very glad I’m finally having the op done though as I’ve waited so long for it.