Saturday 31st October 2009 ~ Samhain

Feeling a little sleepy right now. I’m waiting for the Heating engineers to turn up to fix my boiler as it keeps cutting out. As usual they never give a specific time, only that they” be here between such and such a time…phooey! It’s raining and wet this morning and they’ve forecast storms for us for the next few days, lots of rain and windy…double phooey! I love the element of water but when it’s cold, windy and rainy it’s just yuk!

The Samhain ritual last night was really lovely. Powerful and full of energy. I gave the meditation, which I’d written myself, and it was such a pleasure to do it. I always get a bit nervous though, thinking am I going too fast or too slow. But I got some lovely feedback so I think it went down well. Lady Raven gave a lovely ritual, calling on Cerridwen and Arawn. The God now sleeps in the Underworld with the Crone. A time for quietness within and introspection. I’m rather looking forward to this time. After the ritual I left an offering outside for my ancestors, and the spirits…it’s all gone this morning, so someone surely had a feast…LOL I’m glad they enjoyed the roast beef, egg and bacon flan I left out there.

So in the next couple of days I will begin the Shamanism class. I’m looking forward to it but am a little nervous too. I’m so glad I’ve got Whirling Thunder to help me. She knows what she’s talking about and explains things in words I can understand. I see this delving into Shamanism as another piece of my own individual path. I like the way Whirling Thunder described it in an earlier post – that we are all on the same path (to enlightenment) but that there are different stalls we can stop at and learn from. It all adds to the enrichment of our own paths. I know I feel happy with my path right now…it is as it should be. If I remain open to the Universe all will be as it should be in this moment in time. I’m finding it a lot easier to stay in the moment now. And with that comes inner peace.

It was wonderful to actually be able to chat with Thunder on the phone the other day. Blew my mind that I was talking with someone 11 hours in front of my time – now I know how Meadowhawk feels…LOL Of course Thunder and I are different but I felt so at home with her and she and I are in many ways very similar. It was ‘kind of’ like talking with myself but only better because she is one smart and wise cookie. I’m so glad we have struck up a friendship. This Internet VOIP phone I have is a real blessing. I can call practically anywhere in the world for nothing! How’s that for coolness!

I’m looking forward to beginning the Sacred Mists 100 Day Challenge. Although I have to admit I’m nervous too. I guess I’m afraid of failing but that’s just in my mind isn’t it? How can anyone fail if they give something their best shot? Trouble with me is I have a perfectionist nature and if I don’t see what I do as ‘perfect in my eyes’ then I will have failed. I know this type of thinking is totally unreasonable though. It’s rather like black and white thinking (which is so typical of Personality Disordered people). I need to learn to think in shades of grey and I’ve come a long way but still have a long way to go.

Which really brings me to the point that I realise I know nothing! When I was younger I thought I knew everything (in my arrogance) but the older I’ve got (and the more knowledge and wisdom I’ve gained) I realise that in reality I still actually know so little. One never stops learning. This realisation is actually exciting for me. My life path will go on, from this into the next life, and the next, and the next…learning, learning, learning. How exciting.



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