Monday 19th October 2009 ~ Waxing Crescent Moon in Scorpio

Tonight I did the Pre-Class Shamanism exercise, or a ‘tracking’ exercise. This is something the instructor required us to do. At first I was a little sceptical…no incense, no smudge, no circle, not trance or meditation state. All that was required was for me to sit comfortably in a dark room, only lit by a candle off to one side, in front of a mirror so I could see my whole face…about 3 feet in front of me. I was to focus on and study my face only and look into my left eye. apparently my face would morph and become other faces, all still me but from different mental perspectives. So, I did everything specifically as per instructions and was absolutely astounded at what I saw. This exercise is way cool! My face began to morph practically straight away…off to the right hand side mainly as I looked in the mirror. Faces materialised and merged with mine until I could no longer ‘see’ my ordinary reality face but faces that were me, or similar to me, but older, younger and surprisingly most seemed to be masculine. They all seemed rather thoughtful, and some stern looking. None were actually smiling. I even saw a masculine face with a beard. I also saw my face morph into a skull shape, which kept materialising intermittently. I must have been gazing so intently that my left eye became like a deep black hole in my face. The frustrating thing was that these morphing faces did not stay long. Whenever I tried to focus on them they disappeared and another took its place or my own face re-emerged. The faces seemed to morph really quickly over the 20 minutes I did this exercise. Probably about 6 different faces over that period of time – the same ones kept re-emerging and being replaced by another that had appeared before. Another interesting thing is that these faces weren’t looking straight at me, like a reflection but their gaze was either looking up and to the left or downwards. I did this exercise for the prescribed length of time but I’m going to try it again tomorrow night and see what the results are. I wonder if I smile into the mirror the faces that appear might smile too. Am going to try this out.

I’d really like to participate in the Sacred Mists 100 Day Challenge, where we set spiritual goals to achieve in 100 days. We are supposed to set 10 goals but I’m wondering why 10, and what if I don’t achieve them? What if I fail to meet all the goals. I guess I’m setting myself up to fail even before I’ve begun and this is usually what I always do, hence I never get anywhere. I think doing it from the 1st November is a great idea as it’s the beginning of the New Pagan/Celtic year, so this resonates with me. And I have been thinking about new goals lately for this reason. I guess the 100 Day Challenge would be a great start wouldn’t it. But I have no idea what goals to set. We have to have 3 for Sacred Mists and 7 for other spiritual pursuits. What I don’t want to do is begin something I can’t finish. I’m frightened I’m going to run out of steam I suppose. I think this all has to do with my fear of commitment although I don’t seem to have any problems committing in other areas. After all I have initiated into the Sacred Mists with no problems but maybe this was because I had plenty of time to consider it all and its full meaning beforehand.



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