It is so hot here and for a few days I’ve not felt like writing in my journal. The heat has been affecting me – headaches and sore eyes – but I’m not complaining, not at all. I think this weather is wonderful although it is a little too humid for my liking. Anyway, I have been going out; on Monday I went to New Barn Park with Elendil to feed the ducks and geese. They didn’t seem too interested but the very big carp in the lake had a good time eating the bread instead. We didn’t stay very long as it was so hot and humid and to be honest we went at the wrong time of day…what’s that about mad dogs and English men going out in the midday sun? Came home, threw off my clothes and wandered around the house naked for the rest of the day…perfect!
Tuesday went to therapy although I very nearly fell asleep during the group session. It was good to go though and I treated myself for going by buying some chips from the chip shop. I know, a bit too hot to be eating hot chips but heck…I love ’em. Elendil bought me a wonderful present. There was this small blue/green glass bottle in a thrift shop near where I go to therapy and I have admired it for a while now but not bought it as I could not afford it. It’s Caithness Glass, which is pretty expensive. They were selling it for £10 although to buy the same thing new would be £50. Anyway, Elendil went in and got it for me…how sweet of her. She really looks after me, not just materially but with all the support and love she gives me. My daughter is the best! I couldn’t ask for a better one.
Haven’t been out today but instead sat in the garden for a short while doing some reading. Slippers and Merry came out to join me but I think it was a little too hot for them. Merry went back indoors but Slippers found a nice shady place and lay down to sleep. I had to go searching for her to bring her in. She looked so funny all covered in masses of tiny grass seeds, as though she’d been powdered.
Talked to my honey tonight and he was very tired. A long sweltering day on his hands and knees at work, bloodying his fingers laying pavers and getting really sunburnt in the process. He’s so tired poor dear! I will be very glad once he’s able to move out of that house and into his new place. This process has been going on for so long now (not his fault) and it’s REALLY stressing him out. He has no time for anything and the whole thing is depressing him quite a bit I think. I felt that he seemed rather despondent but that might be due to him being totally exhausted. However, I know that once he’s moved and settled in things will be a lot better for him. I feel this most strongly. He will be able to get back to the things that are important to him. This present situation is temporary and will pass. I’m very proud of him though as he’s come such a long way since we first began our relationship. Quite often I feel somewhat sad and helpless being so far from him physically because I’d really love to help him practically but I can’t right now. All I can do is give him support through prayer and talking to him. I hope that’s enough but at times I feel bad I cannot do more for him.
I’ve been mulling over Lesson 11 since I read it through a few days ago. I decided to read some of Power Spellcraft for Life by Arin Murphy-Hiscock, which was pertinent to the lesson. Mainly techniques for raising energy, which is something I find not so easy. I don’t give this application enough time…I’m too impatient to get the spell done and dusted I think. What I need is patience and application…self discipline!
So, the lesson talks about physical energy and ethereal energy applied to energy raising, and Hiscock has some interesting things to say about this. She categorises certain techniques. For example:
1. Meditation and Concentration – According to Hiscock this is the purest form of energy one can use because it originates completely from oneself. I can see where she is coming from here but I also think Divine energy is the purest too. When I use my own energy I draw it up from Gaia first – pure earth energy. Is this not the purest? Using our own energy in meditation and concentration involves clear visualisation (which thankfully I have), focus, self discipline and patience. Not easy for me!
2. Chanting – which I’m way too embarrassed to use, even on my own. But I do try to formulate spoken and rhyming chants for ritual and spellwork.
3. Sacred Breath – exhaling ones will and energy, directing it towards the goal. Inhaling – visualise drawing energy from (spell) components and environment (e.g. the earth in my case). Use this in conjunction with visualisation. This type of energy raising seems to work for me but does take rather a long time and also requires a lot of focus and NO interruptions.
4. Invocation/Aspecting – Again, according to Hiscock, invocation is inviting deity into your sacred space. This is different to what I learnt in the 1st Degree where to invoke a deity is to take that deity into yourself. Rather in Power Spellcraft for Life this action is called ‘aspecting’, which is invoking the deity’s energy ‘into’ ones own body rather than the space around you. I would say both these are the same as using ethereal energy as explained in Lesson 11. However, one should only invoke/aspect deities with which one has a working relationship, which makes perfect sense to me. Otherwise one might find oneself in a very difficult situation. working with an unknown deity would be rather like inviting a stranger into ones house wouldn’t it.
5. Incense – Loose incense blends allow the release of corresponding energy in a faster more immediate way than incense sticks. The process of making the required corresponding incense blend adds energy to the spell.
6. Dancing & Drumming – Again, according to Hiscock dancing and drumming produces energy on both the physical and astral levels. These are methods I also find hard to do because I feel so self-conscious. I don’t have the space to dance anyway but drumming I can do with my bodhran. However, really I need to overcome this self-consciousness in order to really allow the potential energy to flow. The Craft is about being wild and free is it not? But then again I think that using a particular method self-consciously will just interrupt the flow anyway so perhaps it’s better not to use it. Maybe it’s better to use methods one feels comfortable with, or maybe too it all depends on the type of spell one is doing.