Monday 18th May 2009 ~ Waning Crescent Moon in Pisces

Just a little post today as it’s only lunchtime here. I will update later. We got a late start today which I don’t think pleased Meadowhawk so much. I don’t think he’s used to our pace of life yet. This has started my anxiety going again and I’m feeling somewhat depressed, tearful and anxious. I’m frightened he will be put off by this and I fear rejection and abandonment. I wish I wasn’t like this but the fear of abandonment and rejection seems to be hardwired into my brain. I know Meadowhawk wants to be up and about and see things and of course we shall but it’s just that me and Elendil don’t start our days in a big hurry, which is what Meadowhawk’s used to.

Anyway, we are going for a long, long walk today – at least 20 miles and I’m also worried about how I will cope with walking so far but I have to do it for him and Elendil – I don’t want to disappoint them. I’m sure it will be fine. I do wish the weather was better though. It’s sunny one minute but then heavy showers the next and it isn’t really warm either, with a cool brisk wind. Oh well, never mind. I am just grateful to the God and Goddess that Meadowhawk is here and we can spend time together. I know this visit will go really fast and that is playing on my mind too but I’m trying not to let it.

Tonight Meadowhawk is going to cook us a meal – mashed potatoes with turkey and gravy and I’m really looking forward to it. Then we are all going to watch the Blair Witch Project together…ooohhhh spooky. That film still sends shivers down my spine.

Blessings
Deep~Glade

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