Well, I’ve not written in here for a few days. I’ve been feeling very tired and a little anxious. I think I am so excited about my dear Meadowhawk’s visit here and I want things to go well. I’m very anxious about having to go to Heathrow Airport to meet him. We are going up by train and this means travelling on a train plus two underground trains in the rush hour. Plus I’ve never been to Heathrow Airport before. We are going to leave in plenty of time and I know in my heart that all will be ok but I’m still nervous about the trip and having to deal with all the masses of people.
I spoke to my therapist about how I find it very hard to go out where there is a lot of people and she thinks it’s because I am scared of being overwhelmed, which makes perfect sense to me. I talked about how I feel very drained when there is a lot of people about so I need to shield myself a lot more I think, and ground myself often.
But I’m so very excited about being with Meadowhawk at long last. I know it’s going to be wonderful.
I just realised that I’ve had my next lesson of the 2nd Degree for three weeks now and have done absolutely nothing with it yet. This is really irritating me now but I do need to help Elendil with some things first. Hopefully I can get it done this coming week. It’s on visualisation and this is something I don’t usually have a problem with. But I do find it hard to visualise when I’m stressed or uptight. So I really think I need to take a couple of hours completely on my own to begin to work through the lesson.
Tomorrow is the Full Moon and me and Elendil are doing our own ritual where we will be making Mithril Protection pouches. I’m really looking forward to this.
I discovered something today – for some while now I’ve been hearing a particular bird song that I could not identify. It is loud and just seems to go on and on throughout the day. Well, today I googled some British bird songs and listened to the sound clips and found out it is a male Great Tit. I’ve not seen it at all but can certainly hear him and I think it’s so cool to have such a bird in the area. We have blackbirds, sparrows, starlings and wood pigeons but this seems to be a new addition as I did not hear him last year. This means that new species are coming into the area…how cool is that!