Friday 27th November 2009 ~ Waxing Gibbous Moon in Aries

I’m feeling discomforted and uneasy because I’m second guessing myself again. Might not seem a big thing really but to me it is because I cannot stop thinking about it.

In the Shamanism course I’m taking we are told to use Tobacco as an offering to the Nature Spirits because it is sacred. Yes, of course it’s sacred but the focus of this course is quite Native American. While this is fine and I respect the Native American ways very much, it is not my cultural tradition which is Celtic. I feel very strongly about this, so I don’t feel right using Tobacco as an offering. I am drawn to using the Three Sacred Herbs of the Druids – Meadowsweet, Mint and Vervain.

Is this right or wrong? Should I be using Tobacco instead? If my instructor knew I was using something else I don’t think she’d be very happy. But I’ve also learnt that another name for Shamanism is ‘The Way of the Heart’, meaning it encourages one to follow ones inner self-expression and heart. My heart is telling me to use something else other than Tobacco but I’m struggling with myself to know what to do. I’m not confident in myself and my gut instinct and this is really bothering me.

Celtic Shamans of old would not have Tobacco, so they would have used sacred plants available to them. Culturally specific! To the Druids, although all plants were sacred to them, Meadowsweet, Mint and Vervain held a special place. I feel more comfortable following this but why do I feel as though I’m doing something wrong?

On a more mundane level I’m going in for my gall bladder operation next Monday and I have to be honest and say I’m feeling a little apprehensive about it. I suppose it’s the thought of going into hospital even for just one day and being anaesthetised. I’m very glad I’m finally having the op done though as I’ve waited so long for it.

Blessings
Deep~Glade

Tuesday 24th November 2009 ~ Waxing Crescent Moon in Aquarius

Am feeling quite perky today, not so exhausted. My moontime keeps dragging on though, not really anything but enough if you gals know what I mean. I’ve been thinking about my reaction to the ‘telling off’ my Shaman instructor gave me. Yesterday I drew the Crystal Ally card ‘Tourmaline’ and here’s an interesting part I read in the interpretation/meaning:

When you create your experience in the moment, you no longer feel the need to judge yourself or others. We become judgemental by interpreting current situations through our own past energetic and emotional experiences. When one is in a state of Inner Peace, there is no emotion based upon the past or the future; only the present. This freedom from old patterns allows you to accept others for what they truly are in the moment. 

See, here’s the thing. I was viewing my instructors response to my drumming experience through a past childhood filter, one in which I always did things wrong and got told off/punished for taking my own initiative. This allowed very low self-esteem to set in and in adulthood I tend to filter things through this same childhood experience, which makes me feel worthless and then I beat myself up.

Ok, the instructor is right – I do not yet have a Guardian Spirit to accompany me down to the Lower World but I do not need one to traverse the Middle World (the one that kind of runs parallel to mundane reality). And in any case I was being protected by the spirits who barred my way into the Lower World because they knew I was not yet ready for this journey. But the journey I took in the Middle World was still shamanic and still very useful to me. Even though I do not yet have a specific Guardian Spirit, I still have spirit helpers protecting me. I am not going to beat myself up over this and feel as if I’ve done something terribly wrong. I did the journey and drummed because my inner Self called me to do it. Yes, I was going along with the instructor’s post on drumming each day (or trying to) and I took her at her word because she did not say ‘not yet’ in the post. If she had said that I would have refrained from drumming. But here’s another thing. Shamans don’t always drum with a view to journeying into the Lower/Upper Worlds. Sometimes they drum for a song, a poem, a story or to traverse the Middle World for insights and knowledge too. I do suspect (or really know) that part of my desire to drum was from ego reasons – I ‘wanted’ to! But I also ‘needed’ to and that came from inside me, an inner desire.

So, the next time I do something and end up beginning to beat myself up over it I’m asking myself what I’m filtering the experience through. Most likely past childhood experiences, which cause me to feel less than confident and knock my fragile self-esteem. I think doing this will help me at last begin to live in the present moment.

Along with Tourmaline, as my Crystal Ally this week, I am being strongly called by Bloodstone too. In fact this stone has been calling me for a while now, but lately even stronger. It is telling me to have ‘Courage’ and ‘Inner Strength’. I have a large chunk of natural Bloodstone that I keep stroking and touching.

Bloodstone

Bloodstone, also known as Heliotrope, is an opaque variety of Chalcedony. The colour is dark green or grey with deep “blood-red” spots or blotch-type markings.

The frequency of Bloodstone connects to the base chakra. It allows one to be fully grounded within one’s physical body by aiding with physical strength and vitality.

The energy of Bloodstone supports one emotionally by helping one to have courage to do what one “knows” is “right” and “true” and to allow one to stay focused on one’s correct spiritual path by finding an “inner strength”.

Bloodstone helps to purify one’s energy fields of negativity by bringing balance to one’s being. As the name implies, Bloodstone is helpful for blood related issues such as anaemia. It also helps to stabilise female hormonal imbalances and the menopause.

I am relating this attraction to my need to stop wimping about and get on with the creative projects I need to do (especially for Lesson 16). I don’t begin because I’m afraid of it all turning out wrong and failing. But in actual fact I’m failing because I’m too scared to begin. So Bloodstone is telling me ‘take courage and BEGIN’. It’s still an uncomfortable place for me though. So often in all my years I’ve been afraid to ‘do’ because I’ve been afraid of messing up, failing or getting a bad reaction from others. This again is a feeling filtered through a past childhood lens.

I’ve just begun reading a super new book called The View Through The Medicine Wheel by Leo Rutherford. It’s a really interesting book that explains the different ‘maps’ the Medicine Wheel presents to us. It’s written from the Native American viewpoint of course but it is interesting to note that many other indigenous cultures had, and still do have, the wheel or circle as a map. The Celts for one, and of course the Ancient Britons who built the fantastic henges that we all know of in England today (Stonehenge, Avebury etc). The circle is universal!

Blessings
Deep~Glade

Monday 23rd November 2009 ~ Waxing Crescent Moon in Aquarius

The Moon is in Aquarius and it’s raining…how fitting!

A new addition to my Skully Family. This time a Flower Fluorite skull (also called Mongolian Fluorite) – the same size as the others but with a little difference. It (not sure if it’s a he or she yet, or maybe both) has a hole in the top of its cranium. Not sure why this is significant yet but I was so drawn to it. I guess I was thinking it needed a bit of nurturing because of this defect and since I’ve had it, it hasn’t left my side. I keep getting it out of my pocket and stroking it. I had a vision that it would be just left at the dealers gathering dust because of this, so it needed a good home.

Blessings
Deep~Glade

Lessons of the Owl ~ Owl Medicine

Owl is a mysterious creature who is friends with the night and flies on silent wings. Her presence is rarely noticed unless you know where to look. Her breeds and calls are numerous, and her lessons are never easy. Owl sees what we want to remain hidden. Owl is honest and sees directly into our heart and soul.

Although we have become most familiar with her symbolism of being wise, there is more to her. In many Native American tribes, Owl is the wise one, the feared one, and the honest one. Some tribes see Owl as a symbol of danger and is deeply feared. They consider her a bringer of dark or black magick because she is a creature of the night and her ability to be around you with out you ever knowing. Owl is a silent presence always observing and is rarely seen. Some even see Owl as a “demon” or as a companion of those who practice Magick of ill will. In some cultures, it is said that if you see an Owl a horrible curse was coming your way.

However, most tribes adore Owl. They see her as a cunning and silent observer who sees all. She perches in the trees looking down to notice the smallest detail. Owl moves from tree to tree never making a sound continuing to observe and learn. When you least expect it she will call to you and startle you, immediately you realize your actions, deceptions, and movements are watched very closely. For those who try desperately to keep their dishonesty hidden this is an uneasy realization.

In the tribes and cultures where Owl is most beloved, she has two faces. She is the Wise One. This is the more accepting face of Owl, one we have chosen to associate closely with Owl.

Her second face is the True Seer. She is the one who sees clearly through to even the most concealed deception. She sees the tricks we play on ourselves and others. She sees our manipulations and does not hesitate to call us out on them. She tells no lie and she does not look away. It is for this reason Owl people are both loved and feared.

Those processing Owl Medicine are strong with True Seer energy, because of this they are often pushed out of groups within society. Many find themselves feeling very uncomfortable around people who have Owl Medicine although they may not know why. The reason for their discomfort is simple… Owl reveals one’s deceptions and when Owl Medicine is at work deceptions are exposed. There is rarely a middle ground with Owl people, unless Owl chooses to keep her distance or keeps the knowledge of said deceptions silent. Keeping silent is very difficult for Owl as it is her duty to reveal deception.
When we don’t understand Owl Medicine we find Owl’s honestly very unsettling. As many of us struggle with the truth and lies we hide within, Owl sees them clearly. Owl brings these deceptions forward and looks within us with giant piercing eyes. She looks into the depths of people and sees them for who they are deep down. This ability makes people very uneasy especially when they are not ready to face their own inner demons. When Owl is asked to reveal something she does it with naked honesty. When she is asked to call out the truth she does so even when the requestor is not prepared for the truth. Always prepare yourself if you ask for the truth from Owl.

Owl’s comfort with pointing out the areas where we hide and stumble is alarming. This ability is not exclusive to those around her. Owl also sees her own inner demons and regularly faces them. In some cases, it is hard for Owl to remember that others do not contain her unique gift of acceptance and her willingness to face her inner demons.

Owl does not mean to bring fear to others, her true intention is to bring peace within. She is practicing her gift as she best knows how in hopes that you will open your heart and mind to accept your growth potential. Her goal is to make these areas known so one can work on strengthening one’s character.

Owl people are not usually cruel people, they are genuinely compassionate, and they care deeply for those she reads. If Owl chooses to keep her distance from someone it is wise to follow her. She most likely sees something within that person that is disturbing and is not likely to change. She may not be able to tell you exactly what it is that repels her, but in time, you will see it revealed.

Because Owl prefers the cover of darkness and the camouflage of trees, her Lunar symbol is the Dark Moon and Full Moon. In some traditions, the dark of the moon is when Magick is most powerful. Some see it as being the time for “Dark” or “Black” Magick, while others (like Owl People) see it as being a time for Inner Magick. The Magick that is most difficult to reach because it requires you to conquer the darkest and deepest inner places of your heart and soul. This Magick comes from years of meditation, stillness, balance, and a full understanding of self. This Magick is only accessible when the user is completely able to let go and achieve true balance. To some surprise this ability does not come naturally to Owl people in their current corporeal form. Only through time, practice, patience, and mistakes can one achieve the balance necessary to perform Owl Magick.

If you encounter someone who seems to possess Owl Medicine, remember to be aware of why you might feel uncomfortable in his or her presence. Remember be careful in asking Owl to reveal what she knows, you may not be prepared. If you open your heart and mind, Owl has a great many lessons to teach.

Source: Leandra Draconis Witchwood

Saturday 21st November 2009 ~ Waxing Crescent Moon in Capricorn

I feel very peaceful and sleepy today, kind of enveloped in a veil of love and peace. not sure if this has anything to do with the Chiron Healing that Thunder did for me the other day. I feel as though I’m kind of floating around in my own little bubble but also feel rather disconnected with others. Elendil asked if I was all right and I replied that I was fine. I guess she thinks I’m depressed or something. But no I’m not, I’m just peaceful and contemplative and quiet. It’s rather nice actually.

I decided not to do any housework today because of feeling like this, I actually feel rather depleted in energy too. But there is washing to do, so I am doing that but no hoovering etc.

I wanted to post a bit about an exercise we had to do for the 3rd Assignment for the Shamanism course. It’s been an interesting week where that’s concerned. In doing the ‘Talking to inanimate objects’ assignment, all week I have been making an effort to engage in communication with various man made objects and furniture around my house. This didn’t seem as difficult as I’d imagined at first because I’m well used to talking with my plants and cats, and all the creatures outside. So really this was an extension of that. However, I found I definitely had to move the Assemblage Point to my 3rd Eye chakra (Hummingbird Mind). I also found that pieces of furniture made from wood seemed more forthcoming with their communication, which I felt as an intuitive vibration. I think this is because they are perhaps nearer their once natural state than metal or plastic items. They made it clear to me I wasn’t looking after them too much and not showing enough gratitude for their sacrifice. By this I’m assuming the sacrifice the trees made to be turned into ‘human’ made objects. The other pieces of furniture, like the ones made from metal and plastic I had a harder time with. They were not very forthcoming but I felt they were rather disgruntled too. This exercise has really opened my eyes that I need to be a lot more mindful, to show my gratitude more by taking care of them (cleaning them more often etc), to think about what these objects actually do for me rather than what I can get out of them. Now I find my house kind of ‘humming’ and I guess that is because I’m trying to keep the Assemblage Point at my 3rd Eye Chakra. I realise that everything that is, really is alive! It’s been so enlightening.

It made me realise just how neglectful I am of the ‘beings’ and ’spirits’ around my home. How I just take advantage of things. I’m usually a great one for hoovering but tend to neglect the dusting a bit. not that my home is really bad or dirty or anything, it’s just ‘lived in’ but I get the feeling that these ’spirits’ of furniture would like me to take better care of them, or at least not take them for granted. It’s kind of like changing over my thoughts. Instead of thinking about what I get out of them, think instead about what they give to me…that instills gratitude.

Everything that is, is alive!

Blessings
Deep~Glade

Chiron:The Wounded Healer

Chiron is both Archetype of The Wounded Healer and Your Soul Key. When Chiron travels through a sign it will bring the old wounds to the surface for healing.

Chiron is travelling through the sign of Aquarius from 2005 until February 2011. During this time we are being asked to heal old wounds around being part of the human race, of being in a group. Aquarius is a fixed air sign, so it is challenging our deeply held beliefs and ideas that no longer serve us.

To understand Chiron we need to look at his story.

THE MYTH
Chiron was a centaur, half man and half horse and unusual because he was wise and civilised. He was the child of Cronos (Saturn) and Phyllra. Saturn, king of the gods at the time, was highly sexed and chased all the goddesses. Phyllra was a nymph who tried to escape from him by turning herself into a horse. But Saturn found her, turned himself into a horse and raped her.

Chiron was born half human and half horse. Phyllra refused to even look at her baby, calling him an abomination. So Chiron was rejected by his mother.

He was adopted by Apollo, the Sun God who was his teacher (see pic above). Chiron was brave, wise and warm hearted with healing skills. He was the astrologer-teacher, a mentor who initiated heroes including Achilles, Orpheus, Jason and Hercules. He became their mentor and like a foster parent to them. He was the priest king of the centaurs.

One day at a party he gets accidentally wounded by a poisoned arrow dropped by Hercules onto his thigh. In agonising pain he could not heal himself, nor could he die because he was half immortal.

Eventually the gods let him swap places with Prometheus, who was being punished daily. Chiron was willing to give up his immortality so Prometheus could be released. This act of heroism was rewarded by the gods who placed him in the heavens as the constellation of Sagittarius.

“Chiron also considers the ultimate act of heroism to be the transformation of self. In this regard the mythological god, Chiron, gave up his immortality in order to save another, stating in mythological terms that the teacher must die in order for the student to truly live.”

Chiron’s story is also about shame. Chiron is rejected by his mother simply for being himself. And often Chiron’s placement in the natal chart indicates where we are carrying some deep shame about who we are. What isn’t perfect about us often becomes an incredible cross to bear. And even if we work hard to hide it or deny it, that shame lurks in the shadows, waiting to erupt. And when Chiron connects with a personal planet it gets triggered.

CHIRON KEYWORDS
Maverick, Holistic Healer, Ecologist, Mentor, Rainbow Bridge, Shaman.

THE ASTRONOMY
Chiron has an affinity with Sagittarius and also with Virgo as the sign connected with healing and medicine. It has a very elliptical orbit of 50 years and it originated from the Kuiper Belt near Pluto. This area is full of cosmic debris, thought by many to be left over from the Big Bang, the Creation of the Universe. Pluto represents the Underworld, or what lies hidden and buried from us deep in the unconscious mind.

Chiron orbits between Saturn and Uranus
The last visible planet in our solar system, Saturn is pure form, structure, past orientated and totally predictable. Saturn is Old Father Time and Death, the ending of all things. Uranus represents the Rebel, the eccentric, the future and is totally unpredictable. Uranus is out to shock and cares nothing for morals. Thus Saturn v Uranus represents the old versus the new. The old fogy versus the teenager.

SHAMAN
Chiron acts as a Bridge between these energies. It’s aim is to bring structure to innovative ideas. Chiron is a KEY, a Gateway and is not restricted by time. Rather it represents the shaman’s journey. As Saturn opposes Uranus 5 times commencing Nov 4 2008 until 2010 it is vital to bring these energies together.

BODY/MIND SPLIT
Chiron is half man, half horse. This split is the division between the lower instinctual half with the upper higher spiritual half. In the body the lower chakras are to do with the physical and material realm of survival, emotions such as fear, fight or flight.

In the birth chart we have this split in the horizon between day and night. We incarnate from the 12th house (the womb) into the 1st (the physical body)- a major transformation between two worlds. We have all been on a Shaman journey by the mere fact of being born!

This is a split between the conscious and unconscious. Chiron is associated with the 6th house of healing and the sign of Virgo. The 6th house shows our habits, our daily rituals and is the daily rituals such as brushing our teeth, that affect our well being.

The most important shift in healing today is the recognition of the power of the mind. As Mercury governs Virgo this brings in the concept of daily practise using communication through ‘doing’. Virgo is an earth sign which is essentially practical.

Pioneers such as Louise Hay in 1984 knew the power of daily affirmations to retrain the mind and bring wholeness.

HEALING YOUR CHIRON STORY
Human beings are story tellers. We need to let others tell their stories so we can appreciate their efforts, their struggles and their successes. But if the story is being repeated constantly then it’s time to look at what lies at its root.

The dark stories come from the unconscious which speaks to us through metaphors and symbols. Once understood they can be reframed and the mind shown that it’s now helpful to let go of its long held beliefs.

Source: Healing Stars (internet)

Tuesday 17th November 2009 ~ Waxing Crescent Moon in Sagittarius

Off to therapy soon but first I thought I’d write a bit about the current lesson I’m on for the 2nd Degree. In it I have to make and enchant a charm, and also enchant a ritual tool as a talisman. I’m in two minds about enchanting a ritual tool as a talisman. My gut instinct says ‘no’ and I could do something else instead. I was thinking about enchanting a pendant for my Shamanic practice as a talisman instead. Not sure if I can do this but it feels right to me somehow. I’ll have to contact MoonDove and ask her if I can do this instead. The pendant is being used by me for my Shamanic journeys and work and I guess I will use it in a ritual type setting. I don’t know why it does not feel right to me to enchant a ritual tool. If I wasn’t using any ritual tools (after all tools are not needed are they – it’s intent that counts) then how could I?

I’ve got really bad teeth…they are all going rotten. Too much sugar in my diet (3 teaspoons in tea/coffee) and my past life style has caused this. Now I’m reaping what I’ve sown. I’ve got two loose teeth on the left hand side of my upper jaw and boy are they painful. Probably completely rotten inside. I really need to see a dentist but in England it’s very hard to get one unless you go private and I just don’t have the money to do that, which is why I’ve not gone for so long. I’ve heard of a Community Dentist in Swanley that will see you if you’re on welfare. So I need to try and see if she’ll see me. My teeth hurt BAD!!!!!!

I’m feeling ok emotionally today but rather tired…as usual. My gall bladder op comes up soon at the end of the month and I’m so glad it is. Not happy about having to go into hospital though. I’m rather scared about it actually. Still, I need this operation done and have been waiting so long for it now it’s about time.

Elendil is worrying me a lot. She has been having severe back pain for years now. The upper back pain I feel sure is stress related in that she carries her stress there and that’s why it hurts so much. I’m encouraging her to do relaxation and meditation. But her lower back pain I think has something to do with her kidneys as it’s off on one side and that side is rather swollen. In the past she said she had blood in her pee but not lately. Pain killers nor relaxation make any difference to it either. The doctor can find nothing wrong with her and she’s been to the hospital for X-rays and nothing showed up. She has some medication that is supposed to help but it really doesn’t do much. I use Reiki on her but even that doesn’t seem to be working. I feel she is blocking it for some subconscious reason.

That’s all for now

Blessings
Deep~Glade

Monday 16th November 2009 ~ New Moon in Scorpio

Been a little while since I’ve written in my journal. Guess I’ve been busy. Today is the New Moon but also the Lunar Samhain. Somehow it feels better to be celebrating this Sabbat today rather than on the 31st October, which is Halloween too. Perhaps this coming year I will follow the Lunar Sabbat dates as well…who knows. I’m trying to keep everything open and just be in the moment. I feel kind of better being like this. In some ways it helps me to keep stable and far less anxious.

What to talk about first? Seems there are a few things. I am really loving the Shamanism Class even though there is masses of work and yes, it does make me feel a little overwhelmed. I really thought I’d never get this week’s work finished but you know what? Just by staying in the moment I accomplished it all with some very exciting results. Apart from the written work we had two exercises to do. One was a drumming/meditation exercise where we had to compare the two experiences. The other was finding the Assemblage Point, which helps us shift from one perspective to another.

Drumming/Meditation Exercise

This exercise was extremely interesting. I have to say I’m in love with drumming. The difference between my meditation and drumming is marked for me.

I drummed for about 23 minutes (timer on). At first I felt self conscious but after a while I became lost in the sound of the drum. I concentrated on the sound of the drum only. The vibrations seemed very powerful and kind of hypnotic. Suddenly it appeared to be made of butter. Then I briefly turned into an insect, a fly. I found no entrance way to the Lower World other than at one point I flew into a cauldron, and another time there was a kid’s slide with a hole at the bottom of it. But once I slid down the slide the hole disappeared. Although I drummed for 23 minutes I could have gone on for much longer as I seemed to lose all track of time and when the timer sounded I was really surprised I’d been drumming for that long. It seemed only a few minutes really. Also I found the drumming pretty easy, drumming with quite a fast beat and I only missed the beat a few times. During the drumming I felt elated and afterwards I did too.

For the second part of the exercise I meditated for about 25 minutes and fairly easily got into a state of ‘quiet mind’ by continually focusing on my breathing (exhalation). I’m finding it a lot easier now to switch off mundane/intrusive thoughts. During the meditation I’m no where. I do not ’see’ or visualise anything. But I also feel very receptive, not quite an ‘empty vessel’ but something like that. Suddenly I hear a voice say ‘Badger’ to me. And a Badger’s head appears and disappears. The voice is not known to me, not mine or anyone I know. Then nothing again until I come out of the meditation. I feel calm and peaceful yet also alert and refreshed.

The differences between the drumming and meditation are the passage of time, fast with the drumming but slow with the meditation. Also ‘things’ happened quite quickly during the drumming. The difference in how I felt afterwards; quite excited and elated after drumming but calmer and more peaceful after the meditation. I would also say I actually felt more relaxed during drumming even though I drummed for 23 minutes. My drumming hand was not tired, nor did it particularly ache. During meditation I could feel parts of my body tense, my legs and stomach, so I had to concentrate on relaxing those.

Assemblage Point Exercise

Well, this exercise was absolutely fascinating. I am going to be honest and say I didn’t think I’d find my Assemblage point. Not because I don’t believe it’s there but because I don’t ever seem very successful in this kind of thing…what a terrible mindset.

Anyway, I really tried hard to change my mindset before I did this exercise, a few minutes of relaxing and clearing my mind. Then I performed the exercise by enlarging the Luminous Energy Field. After I did this part I actually felt less constricted somehow. I felt around for a bit for the Assemblage Point, and found what seemed to be a denser bit of energy on the right side of my face, near my right cheekbone. But I continued feeling around to make sure. After not feeling anything else like this, nor any tingling etc I assumed that this denser piece of energy, which was kind of rounded and fit into my palm with my fingers nearly outstretched, was in fact the Assemblage Point. So I moved it, first up to the Soul Star Chakra and then down to my Root Chakra. I immediately felt different, more grounded. I then repeated the list of statements and was kind of like ‘whatever’ and sceptical and rather disinterested. But when I moved it back to the Soul Star everything changed. I felt lighter, accepting, peaceful and when I read the list of statements slowly to myself I felt joy. When I moved the Assemblage Point to my Sacral Centre I didn’t feel anything. Then I moved it to my Third Eye and felt similar feelings to those that I’d felt when the Assemblage Point was at the Soul Star. At no time did I feel any tingling or any kind of physical sensation. It was more an ‘inner’ kind of feeling throughout. I then moved the Assemblage Point back to where I found it.

This is a great exercise. But I have an important lesson to learn (one of many I’m sure) and that is to not be so doubting of myself or the Universe.

I wonder what my instructor will make of my experiences?

As I mentioned before, a dear friend here sent me two beautiful stones recently, Master Shamanite and Black Merlinite. Both to aid me in my Shamanic Journeys. Well, I made a charm pendant out of them (which is also something I had to do for my current 2nd Degree lesson – make a charm). So I strung them both on a black cord and then tied some bronze cockerel feathers (that kind of look like butterfly wings) to the cord and topped it off with a Red Jasper stone. A simple charm but I am very pleased with it. I wore it when I did my drumming and will always wear it just for that; my Shamanic Journey drumming charm.

I’ve also been reading The 13 Original Clan Mothers by Jamie Sams. Whirling Thunder directed me to this book and I’m so glad I got it. It’s so full of wisdom and the stories in it hold me enthralled. If you want to impart wisdom then tell a story! Of course that’s very Bardic!

On a more psychological level I’ve noticed something happening between me and Elendil Star (my daughter). something that has of course been happening for some time now, if not years but it’s only recently hit me between the eyes and I don’t like it. Each of our moods trigger the other. for example, if she is in a depressed, low mood then my mood becomes low and depressed. And vice versa. Unfortunately it doesn’t seem to happen with good moods. It seems we are entangled emotionally this way and I don’t quite know what to do about it. If I try to distance myself she accuses me of becoming cold and distant. Even though she hasn’t cut in a long time now I am still constantly worried she will. But what can I do? If she’s going to then she’s going to and worrying constantly isn’t helping me. Instead it makes me feel resentful and on edge. I feel emotionally tangled up with her and I don’t want to be but I don’t know how to extricate myself. People say we are so lucky to be so close but sometimes this closeness is stifling. Sometimes it’s as if we are not two separate people but one person, or joined at the hip and that’s not how it should be. Personally I feel our relationship is rather co-dependant and has been for a very long time. That’s not to say I don’t love her because I do – very much! Why do I need to say that? It always feels as if I have to justify myself for being honest.

Meadowhawk is going to be here soon in 5 weeks and I am so excited and cannot wait to be with him again. He is quite low at present because of not having a computer and not being able to be here at Sacred Mists. Work is very hard to find and he is having to work a long way from home. The travelling around takes its toll on him and he’s very tired. It will be so good for him to have 6 weeks of just rest…he sure needs it!

Blessings
Deep~Glade

Tree Medicine, Magic & Lore: Hawthorn

“Beware of an oak,
It draws the stroke,
Avoid an ash,
It courts the flash,
Creep under the thorn,
It will save you from harm”

“The fair maid who the first of May
Goes to the field at break of day,
And washes in dew from the hawthorn tree
Will ever after handsome be”

–Ancient British Rhymes

Tradition holds that where Oak and Ash and Thorn are seen to grow together one will be likely to see Fairies. All of these trees are valuable medicinals besides being edible and making excellent firewood, (and building materials and wood for tools with the exception of Hawthorn which must never be felled). The Fairies, being highly intelligent, would certainly frequent these trees.

Another tradition holds that a solitary Hawthorn on a hill, and especially if there is a spring or a well nearby, indicates that a doorway to the land of Faery is close at hand. For this reason Hawthorns are sacred to the Goddess Carnea, wife and mother of Janus, God of entrances and exits. People will deliberately avoid or seek out such a place, according to their predispositions.

One of the duties of a Druid, in the days before television, radio, and newspapers, was to keep an eye on the local Hawthorn tree. The day it first blossomed was reckoned as the official start of summer, the festival of Beltaine, or May Day. Hawthorn blossoms were used to decorate the house and May Pole but it was considered very unlucky to bring them in the home, probably because of their attraction to the Fey Folk.

Hawthorn is woven into the crown of leaves worn by the Green Man, a figure dressed in green leaves and ribbons who symbolizes the return of summer’s verdure. He can often seen dancing through the town in a traditional May Day celebration.

Hawthorns are often chosen as sacred trees near Holy Wells. People leave small bits of cloth tied to such a tree to personify their prayers and needs.

At marriage ceremonies on the Greek isle of Delos, singers and dancers were crowned with Oak, Myrtle, and Hawthorn. Hawthorn blossoms, symbols of chastity, were included in the marriage wreath. Athenian brides once wore Hawthorn blossoms and used them to decorate altars sacred to Hymen, the Goddess of marriage. In Ireland and Celtic Britain newly married couples danced around a Hawthorn tree, to receive its blessing.

Hawthorn is a valuable medicinal whose fall-picked berries and spring-gathered new leaves and flowers are tinctured to make an all-purpose cardiac tonic that benefits virtually all heart conditions.

It is said that to cut down a Thorn tree is so unlucky that the offender is bound to lose his house, his children, or a limb.

Source:  Ellen Evert Hopman is a Druid Priestess, herbalist and author of “Priestess of the Forest: A Druid Journey”, “A Druids Herbal – Of Sacred Tree Medicine”, “Walking the World in Wonder – A Children’s Herbal” and other volumes.

Wednesday 11th November 2009 ~ Waning Crescent Moon in Virgo

I have some interesting findings regarding the tracking exercise I’ve been doing but before I post about it I’ve got to get it all straight in my mind…so a little more mulling over is needed I think. I certainly will post about it soon though.

I wasn’t able to get to the Healing Ritual last night, which bummed me out a bit but I was able to participate in the Armistice Day Healing Meditation at 11am this morning, and a very powerful meditation it was too. It was arranged by a member of another board I belong to. We were all to meditated with our crystal skulls at 11am to remember those who gave their lives for us in wars, and to meditate for peace worldwide.

So just before the allotted time I lit rose incense and my healing candle. I held Scaraphina in my cupped hands and prepared for meditation. Suddenly, dead on 11am she shot out her powerful healing blue ray to connect with all the other skulls. Remember that I’m working with her on the Astral here, where she is much bigger than on the Earthly plane. I began to feel sick and very light headed but I concentrated on my breathing and these feelings passed. Everything in the earth, including all people, was infused with healing blue light, weapons disintegrated into dust and the whole earth was encapsulated with a bright light electric blue glow. Then Scaraphina spoke to me. She said the answer is ‘Love and Acceptance’. Then she drew her healing ray back into her and the meditation was finished. The whole thing took approx 20 minutes.

The reason why I felt sick and light headed was because Scaraphina has a high vibration and connecting with the other skulls made the frequency even higher and more powerful. I think the more I work with her the more used to this I’ll become. Afterwards, I am left feeling very loving, at peace and positive. It was a wonderful and powerful meditation.

Yes, the answer is love and acceptance. If only mankind in general could see this then there’d be no more wars etc. Even though there are certain groups of people I dislike for what they DO, I need to accept and love them for WHO THEY ARE! We humans are all the same – spirits in human bodies. It’s what we do that is the problem, not what we are!

How can one accept and love a paedophile for example? This question came up in therapy yesterday. But I do not believe that anyone is incarnated on this earth as such. These people ‘learn’ to be this way don’t they? But what about their past lives? I still think it’s sad that people are hated for ‘who’ they are rather than for ‘what they do’. I’m not condoning paedophilia obviously – this is abhorrent!

Blessings
Deep~Glade